How to say what you want.

Revealing our wants and desires can be difficult, especially when it comes to our relationships with others closest to us. We may fear that expressing our true desires will lead to conflict or rejection, or we may simply not know how to communicate our needs effectively. But, by learning to reveal what we really want in a healthy and constructive way, we can actually strengthen our relationships and create a more fulfilling life for ourselves. Here are three effective and healthy strategies to help you tell others what you really want without compromising the relationship:

Practice Self-Awareness

Before we can effectively communicate our wants and desires to others, we must first understand them ourselves.  It's simply impossible to overstate the importance of this first step. This requires a deep level of self-awareness, the type of introspection many of us feel we just don't have time for.  The busy, modern pace of life certainly does make this difficult, but a few minutes per day will help you make great strides towards clarity. Take time to reflect on what you truly want in your relationships, work life, and personal life. Ask yourself questions like the following:

• What are my core values and beliefs?

• What brings me joy and fulfillment?

• What are my long-term goals and aspirations?

By gaining a deeper understanding of yourself and your desires, you will be better equipped to communicate them to others in a clear and confident way.

Use "I" Statements

When communicating your wants and desires to others, it's important to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when we don't have a chance to talk." This approach is less accusatory and more focused on your own feelings and needs. It also allows the other person to respond in a more constructive way, rather than becoming naturally defensive.

Be Open to Compromise

While it's important to communicate your wants and desires, it's also important to be open to compromise.  I know, this step is difficult too. Take some time to reflect on what you truly want from the relationship and why those things matter to you. This will help you articulate your thoughts more clearly when communicating.  Relationships are a two-way street, and it's unlikely that you will always get exactly what you want. Be willing to listen to the other person's perspective and find a solution that works for both of you. Don't rush into revealing all of your needs at once - take things one step at a time as trust builds in the relationship over time. It may take several conversations before all aspects are discussed openly but remember that honesty is always the best policy when it comes to relationships.This may require some give and take, but it will ultimately lead to a stronger and more fulfilling bond. 

Conclusion

Revealing what you really want to others can be a challenging task, but it is essential for creating a fulfilling and authentic relational connection for the long-haul. By practicing self-awareness, using "I" statements, and being open to compromise, you can communicate your desires in a healthy and constructive way without rushing the relationship to an early and unfornate end due to silence, judgment, and resentment. Remember, relationships are a two-way street, and finding a solution that works for both parties is key to building a strong and lasting connection.